us? adopt? really?

I'm somewhat of a late bloomer.

No, not somewhat, I'm just a straight up late bloomer.

I was locked in a closet most of my life so I didn't actually start living 'till around the age of 21.

Most of my life I was focused on two things: trying to find someone to love me and trying to get through each day without getting in trouble.So I very rarely thought about what I was passionate about- I was too distracted.

All that to say, I'm 25 now. I feel like I might have a passion. I'm almost too scared to type it out loud, but I'll whisperly type, I'm interested in adoption.

There is something about it that intrigues me.

The way it so clearly depicts the gospel amazes me. To adopt is  to actually touch the gospel- everything about it from choosing someone that doesn't have anything tangible to give back, to loving one that is not your own as if they were, is nothing short of a miracle and such an opportunity to display Jesus' love for us.

I may be romanticizing the idea. I know it's not all a bed of roses. I've heard stories of children with attachment issues who struggle to accept the love of their current parents because of the trauma they went through growing up. They act out, they test, they don't love back, at least not in proportion to the love received.

But I feel like even that displays the gospel.

Sometimes I wonder if God uses those children to show us our actual spiritual state. The way we test God and struggle to attach ourselves to him. The way we doubt his words and goodness to us. The way we go off track and walk our own way only for God to come to our rescue yet again. The way we mess up over and over and over again only to be loved with the fiercest kind of love, unceasing until the day we are finally glorified- finally whole.

Isn't adoption interesting? There is something about it that makes very little sense, naturally speaking. Like, why would you go out of your way to bring a child into your family who isn't "yours"? Why go through all the trouble? Do you realize how stressful, time consuming, costly and insane that is? But the question always comes back around to why did God go through all the trouble to get us? He is our example and He calls us to the stressful, time consuming, costly and insane. That seems to be the way he works.

It's a mystery. I am thankful that God has impressed on Anthony and I to share in the mystery and to hopeful glorify him one day through adopting.

Yes, us. Adopt. Really!