Grace.

"Grace, even in the small things of life, is never small grace. - Greg Lucas

I was confident I'd get it right this time. 


Money has always been an issue for us. We never seem to be disciplined, self controlled or wise enough with our money. Yes, we've tried the budgets, mint.com, pretty much everything and they all seem to work for about 2 months and then we're back to square one. It's a heart issue, we know. Some months we do better than others, but the pattern remains and in my opinion we can do better. I was determined to make that happen this time.

We had a huge bill to pay that month. I set some money aside in the account and made sure to communicate to Anthony and myself that that money wasn't to be touched until we had enough to pay the bill, which wouldn't be until the following week. 

I did a good job of keeping to this. I was disciplined and very good, I was sure God was pleased. 

But a few days later I went to grab a bagel for breakfast and realized they went bad. 

I'm pregnant, I can't skip breakfast. I had to buy something. 

Thankfully, we had about 5 dollars in cash on the dresser. I grabbed it and stopped at Dunken Donuts. I spent 3 dollars and 75 cents on a sandwich. That left me with 2.25 for lunch.  

I decided to go to Taco Bell for lunch. When I got up to the drive through and saw the menu, I couldn't resist the Burrito Supreme meal. 

I had to have it.

But a meal cost 5 dollars and change, that meant I had to take money from the account and use the debit card. In that moment I didn't care and I orded the meal.  I pulled up to the cashier window and handed the lady my card. She swiped it and handed it back. 

And then it hit me- I messed it all up. I had done, such a good job of being disciplined and now I ruined it. I sat there and began the condemnation, "You never get the money right. Why can't you be more disciplined? I wonder what God thinks about this. Why do you keep messing up? Why can't you have self control? Yeah I know it's just 5 dollars, but that adds up. Ughh, God you don't have to be gracious, you really don't. And besides, what could you do? Have someone give me the 5 dollars back?" 

I realized I had been thinking these thoughts for quite a while. I turned to see what was taking so long. That's when the manager pops her head out the window and says, "The register isn't working, you can have the meal on us today. Have a good day." 

I pulled away in disbelief. "Wow, God! I dont have words."

"I'm blown away!!"

And so, I got it wrong, but gleaned a treasure I would know nothing about had I gotten it right- where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. And it's the overflow of grace that makes me want to do good. So to those of us, who feel condemned because we keep messing up be encouraged that nothing can separate us from the grace and love of God in Christ Jesus. Not even our sins or mistakes. God is always there ready to lavish us with his grace because he knows that is what will soften our hearts to do good in the first place. Condemnation leads to death, Grace leads to life and good. Because Jesus did everything right, we have the ability to do things well, by the power of the Spirit. Not to attain love from God, but because we are loved. It is the world of condemnation that keeps us sinning. So enter the world of grace, accept it and realize that without it, it is impossible to do good. Don't be silly like me and try to prove you can get it right without his grace. Grace is what got us in, and it's grace that keeps us going till the end. 

And from His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. - John 1:6